I'm having trouble with this

In the past say, 10 shits over at my girl's house (she's got the subscription) I have no shit to talk on the current, Eva Mendes on the issue cover.

Sure some of the shit is marginal or whatnot, but much of it isn't. I loved the algebra used to figure out how hard a city parties. The girl from MTV was different enough that I enjoyed reading about her, and Anthony Bordaine's article on going out to eat was totally dope and had great points.

The whole reason I started this blog, not that I keep up with it very mugh, is because I missed the early Maxim, which while similar, wasn't as formulaic. It was funnier, more interesting.

And this issue is as well. I don't know what to say, cos I know iIm not funny unless I say something sucks.

Still idiots about video games

Halo 3 (page 28) does not have buildings that get wrecked during firefights. Zero destructable environments son. Also, the rippling water...is that really "Special"?

Also, no more ending reviews with "(some act related to said review) has never been this much fun"

Why not just say it's like Halo 2 ON ACID

or, like Dynasty Warriors meets God of War!

puke in my shoes.

Los Angeles is #2 Tough

page 93. LA is tough because there's tons of Marines signing up here.

Wait, doesn't that mean that all the tough dudes left town?

Learn to Fuck Like Chuck Liddell

some things are better left mis-read

Interview with Erica Durance

see also every other girl to do the three page, centerfoldy interview in maxim.

Things i'm going to guess about it:
(page 77)


She wasn't hot in high school
She's down to date 'regular' guys
She's not into the party lifestyle of your Lohans
She's kinda nerdy (but not actually)

let's see how I did...
(and swear to god I didn't read it beforehand)

yup, tomboy - answer to second question
looks like I blew #2, she's dating an actor
nailed the party girl thing - fourth answer
nerdy--eh. Something about a turkey farm, the rest is about acting, which

Chery Burke is in her underwear

well, actually, I hope they aren't hers (p104), because there's no way you could get clothes over them. More like a pre-sex bathing suit really.

it's way more debasing to pose in your underwear than naked. Naked's a statement (even just "Hey, they payed me $20,000!"). Underwear is aim-to-please. Watch my show, read my book, check out my website, here's pics of me in my let's screw attire.

Comfortably Dumb

WTF is it with you fratboy graphic designers that think going all Andres Serrano on shit makes it "edgy" or "cool" or whatever the fuck shit term you are crouching down a little to say?

Do I need to see JFK junior's head pasted disproportionately on a model's body? Does that make me wanna buy streetwear?

Jesus fuck man, just go dress up some crack whores, beat the shit out them, take pics, jack off over it and be done.

Bioshock, really?

So ever since I can remember, Maxim's print edition has had the most inept video game reviews in any magazine that I can think of. I don't know why they bother. With the amount of press release regurgitation and arbitrary rankings, they might as well be rating kitchen utensils.

Mortal Kombat outranking Tekken, heavy stroking for some sports game. Whatever it is, it's off. So when they gave the stupidly anticipated Bioshock a 3 star ranking and one sentence about how it's a first person shooter and involves water it should have been a giant whatever.

But fuck man.

Like, I understand it's just a script that pulls a sentence out of a press release and gives it an arbitrary rating, but can't it at try?

Please?

Anyway, they're idiots. And should rate kitchen utensils. And get that japanese kid to eat food again. Where the fuck is he?

Looks like their online site, lists of shit, got it right. All however many it took to justify writing the review in the 1st person plural, probably in a small room with no shirts. Blasting ICP.

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